could've been
December 27, 2009 @ 3:34 PM
A lot has been happening lately. Maybe too much for one to handle. But I believe I can go through this. I may cry out loud, until everything hurts but I'll never open up my chest and let the whole world know how it's really breaking inside. I may not know where this path will lead me now but I believe that someday, I'll find the light. I'm trying to stay positive amidst everything here. Maybe that way it's easier to figure things out. I am so lost right now, my feet glued to the ground not knowing which way to go let alone how to. I'm afraid of the decisions that I'm going to make, how it will affect the future. But every time I think about the future, I'm reminded of your words. You said that we should never need to worry about the future so much because now is what really matters.
Your other words hurt me deep but I know it can never hold a candle to what I've put you through. I'm grateful that you are still willing to stick around. It's clear now that some things are never going to happen. All those hope I clung on to for so long; crushed. Its time I let it go so that I would not put on so much hope only to be greeted with disappointment. Maybe knowing what to expect now, I could see things clearer. I want things to be better between us. I want us to be alright again. I love you, more than you could ever know and I want you see that I will do whatever it takes.
Stop looking at my flaws.
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