I like to believe this is just a phase because I know how it would end. Yet, I don't understand why I cannot figure out what really is going on. And I don't understand why I cannot figure out a way for it not to end the way I know it would. This is all so messed up. I'm so messed up. I'm afraid to make any move with fear that I hurt the one person I love the most, because I know he would be the one dealing with most of it. Honestly, I don't know what's going on anymore. I keep contradicting myself.