another wishful thinker
May 20, 2010 @ 9:21 PM
Life is a cycle and I've heard that pain is just a simple compromise. Shit happens and most of the time it catches us when our guards are off. I'm overwhelmed by such mixed emotions. I'm still trying to let everything sink in, part of me knew that it was too good to be true and it was nice while it lasted and another part of me wish that this would never need to be addressed.
Your words keep ringing in my head whether you believe it or not. As naive as I can be, I'm not stupid to notice what has been going on. You have become a part of me, a big part. My whole life revolved around you and I. What we have is beautiful, we have gone to hell and back, through thick and thin to get to where we are now. All these years, you may have managed to bring the worst side of me but most of the times you brought out the best of me and the same goes for you. I know they have been times I'm all up your nerves and each time we'd surpass it. I know you love me and I berated myself for all the times I doubted that. You've helped me discover who I am as a person. It's true, we are still young to get too committed in this but we were young when we got into this. I know we are supposed to focus on what we have now, figure out what is now but what is going to happen to all the plans we made for our future? Baby, we've seen each other grow up and I really hoped that the walls we've built around us hasn't stop us from discovering all the things life has to offer for us. Our youth was revolved around us and now I'm not sure that's the reason it brought us here right now.
You’ve taught me I can love, that people can care about me. Or so I thought….you showed me the feeling of being in someone’s arms when they mean the world to you. The feeling of compassion. So many wonderful things. Thank you for that. You’ve also showed me that people break promises, that people don’t always hold true to their word. You’ve taught me that you can love someone more than anything in the world, yet hate them just as much. That just because someone says something, that doesn’t mean it’s true. You’ve showed me how bad it hurts to have the guy you love and thought loved you push you away and treat you as if you are worthless. You’ve showed me wonderful things just as well as horrible things. I do thank you for both. People who say they care, but don’t always. When all is said and done, you’re a part of me, that’s the way it was meant to be, people are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason, I believe the reason you and me were brought together was cause we complete each other, we fill in each others missing spaces, the empty holes, the blind spots, with love, and if someday god decided to tear us apart, I trust that there is a reason, cause if there’s a reason for love, there’s a reason for life beyond it.
Baby, whatever happens from now on, you have and will always be a part of me. Always and forever. You will always have a place in my heart like I do in yours.
xoxo ♥
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