Cheerology
September 13, 2011 @ 4:32 PM
I have been struggling a lot in cheer. Be it, trying to fit in or trying to be able to hit all the things I was asked to do. I never knew joining in into Gusto or could be so physically demanding and emotionally draining. It also requires me to make a lot of sacrifices on time wise. It frustrates me that I am feeling like I am living in the shadows of the group. I feel like everyone else is progressing while I hide behind like a hermit. I get frustrated when I could not do things well.
I guess its hard having Gusto being such a big group. Everyone is vying for a spot in the team and we are going all out to make sure we do. And with tryouts coming up real soon, everyone are like vultures trying to get a piece of everything. But sometimes its takes more than just your ability, it needs you to be noticed.
I am beginning to wonder if it will be worth it in the end?
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Cliché
4:25 PM
I was thinking lately. We can love someone so much, we would give all that we have to them. Without hesitating, we rarely think twice to act out thinking for the best of the other. We wire ourselves to the pain and we get numb. We get immune to the pain, disappointment and we defuse the anger built up so easily as time goes.
But is love alone really enough to keep two people together? If we were to take the nitty gritty details out like time, the power of understanding and compromising, would it still be enough?
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I am a very cliché person. I wished my life is just like those romantic movies that has the sweetest guy and the happy ending. I look out for the little things and I get disappointed easily. I smile at the romantic clichés and I rejoice at the beauty of the littlest things.
I wonder at the question if I'm the first person you'd think of in the morning and the last before you sleep. Or am I the first person you think of when you speak of someone special. Or how you look/think about every detail of me, like the way I speak, the sound of my voice, the way I walk, the way I dress or simply that shy smile I give every now and then? Am I the most beautiful girl in your world? Does your heart flutter when I say your name or when you say my name? Do you get butterflies in your stomach seeing me? And does it explode at the simple act that I do like no-one else does?
You see, I am an every bit of all those. And I wonder if it is the same to you? And I wonder if we could stand base on love alone?
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Confidante
September 7, 2011 @ 11:47 PM
I know I have not been updating my blog for a while now. The urgency to put my words down just isn't there anymore. Yet I have so much to say. I used to such an avid blogger, updating this blog almost daily on anything. Suffice to say, I just got lazy and I procrastinate. I didn't feel like it was that important anymore.
The way things are written down here changes through time too. It used to be so detailed, so form. Now, everything here seems discreet. I talk in circles and it getting very difficult to relate to it. But I would not apologize for that. This space has been such a good confidante.
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