pardon me
April 4, 2010 @ 5:46 PM
Even after all these years, I could not find it in me and bring myself to forgive you. Even though what you did was not as bad as murder, you broke me, you broke me in ways I could not imagine. It's not as easy as it seem. Talking about it gets easier but I cannot stop the raw emotions that comes along with it. Sometimes, I can't even fathom the things I feel let alone find the right words to describe it.Everybody wants me to forgive and forget, especially Hatta. But let me tell you this, it's easier said that done. I don't think anybody really understands why I find it so hard to forgive you. at times, it's beyond my comprehension too.
I know for a fact that I'm not the only one involved but I also know for a fact that I was the only one who was hurt the most. You may have moved on and so have I but what you did scarred me. I did not ask for all of those and here I am left to pick up the pieces and mend my scars on my own. The things you say bears no meaning for me now. No, I'm not seeking for any kind of sympathy, I'm just trying to let people see that I'm not the villain here. I have the right to feel hate.
Try being in my shoes and perhaps you'll find the reason why I could not do what everybody else expects me to do. Undeniably, I don't think I can forget this. As for the forgiving part, maybe someday I'll get to it, maybe someday I'll find it in my heart to forgive you but for now, don't harp on it.
xoxo ♥
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