Battlefield
July 3, 2011 @ 8:02 PM
The hardest battle we can ever go through is between ourselves. I for one, am very familiar with it. Every corner of it. It's not exactly rainbows hidden between the tiny spaces. It's not so easy to find the silver lining in every thought that comes.
How? How can anything or anyone else be good enough if I don't find myself more than enough for me, let alone anyone else. It does not help either when I see all that I wanted on someone else. This isn't easy for me, dealing me against me. I have never opened up on the reasons why I keep doing this or why am I going through this. Truth is, I don't know either. I don't know how to put in words exactly to confide in anyone.
All I can say is, this battle has been more about me trying to surpass the needing of meeting expectations. I expect a lot from anything and mostly everyone. I always want things to go my way. To put it simply, I would even got to the extend of planning my own surprise party. So when things don't go my way, I simply gets disappointed. This expectations can come from anything at all, envy, need etc.
It's difficult because every time things get disappointing, it makes me feel like I' not good enough. It's killing me, slowly. I feel like this battle is taking over me and its getting very exhausting.
0 comments: leave a comment