If I were to wear a heart rate monitor today, I'm sure it will be beeping every other minute. My heart beats has been fluctuating. One minute I'm calm in another it goes beating fast and I get anxious. I don't even know how I could be so calm today, how easily I fake my day through. It is kinda worrying that all I felt was anxiety. I'm calm, way too calm. Something is wrong. There was a few time when I nearly broke down but I somehow manage to recollect myself, breathe in hard and pretend everything is alright. I need to cry, to make sure that everything is real and will be fine. I need to make sure I'll be fine.
p/s: J, I hope you stay strong. you know we love you. xoxo,WG