I have been struggling a lot in cheer. Be it, trying to fit in or trying to be able to hit all the things I was asked to do. I never knew joining in into Gusto or could be so physically demanding and emotionally draining. It also requires me to make a lot of sacrifices on time wise. It frustrates me that I am feeling like I am living in the shadows of the group. I feel like everyone else is progressing while I hide behind like a hermit. I get frustrated when I could not do things well.

I guess its hard having Gusto being such a big group. Everyone is vying for a spot in the team and we are going all out to make sure we do. And with tryouts coming up real soon, everyone are like vultures trying to get a piece of everything. But sometimes its takes more than just your ability, it needs you to be noticed.

I am beginning to wonder if it will be worth it in the end? 

\editted


This post is going to be different from what I would usually talk about here. But because I feel the need to put these thoughts or should I say opinions of mine into words.

So it brings me to this opinion or rather puzzling question. Why do we need to have elderly people as cleaners? Why do we need someone who we should have basic respect for, pick up after us? Aren't we able enough to do it on our own. While we climb up to on our ladder to success, do we really have to forget or step on those who might have been the foundations of it all. Have our heads grown so big that we have to shun on them? Yes, not all elderly people are hard up on life, some are enjoying their retirement and some are very well supported by their family that sometimes they too becomes big headed. I am talking here about the idea of making them do work that we could do. I mean cleaners in general, why do we look down on that job? It is as good as any other job right? It may not pay well but someone has to do it. We don't look down on contractors, we don't look down on laborers so why do we look down on cleaners? Imagine if we don't have cleaners here, will you pick up after yourselves?

It's not only cleaners, it's people in general. Or should I say blue collar workers? Look anywhere around Singapore and you wouldn't miss it even if you try to see how people treat blue collar workers. How high they raise the nose thinking wealth gives them the ability to be inconsiderate. 

Another thing, It's no surprise, that we live in a country of self-absorbed beings who only mind about themselves and not the surrounding. Yesterday I saw a Chinese lady walking in front of me who blatantly puts her newspaper on the parapet while walking as if it was a normal thing to do. That's littering. And who will do that job to pick up after that lady? Right. Then I witnessed an elderly couple working as newspaper deliverers, stop at the crowded bus stop, again blatantly moving safety cones away from its position, did their work and drove off. So tell me, are we so oblivious to our surroundings that it is becoming a characteristics to be proud of?


I could show you stats right now of how most Singaporeans are the epitome of 'big talk no action'. I could give them a survey and ask them questions on their definition of considerate behavior. I'm certain that 75% of them would opt for textbook answers but how many of truly would walk the talk? We are beings who are afraid to make mistakes, afraid to be embarrassed but we don't know that perhaps others are embarrassed for us.