Remember the times when we started to planned out our life? What we want to be in the future, when we want to get married, what kind of person will we be in time to come? At every point in life, we decided what we want to be, what we want to do. We look forward to the future, making choices on the path of our destination. Like passing our O levels and making it to the tertiary education of our choice. Then getting our diploma, work in an industry of our liking, be successful and find the right person we want to be with for the rest of our life.

Then we would come to a prime time where every step we take seems so much scarier that it should be. We make choices that affects our plans, we make detours and when we think about it, we remember how planning just seem so effortless but the journey to it doesn't seem to be.

I am now at a stage where it is not about clueless or unrealistic plannings anymore. The choices and the decisions I made and will continuously make, will affect my present and my future. It's not about having my head in the clouds anymore, its about waking up, settling down, making do with what I have right now, where will it take me from here. I admit, that I am scared with every step I make. It's going to happen, all those that I planned, be it then or now. I have to keep in mind that my actions, my choices and my decisions are my ingredients of who I will be or who I already am.

xoxo ♥

I make it a point to do this every time not because I am obligated to neither am I boasting. I am doing this because it acts as a reminder of how far we have come and it helps me reflects on the things we have been and will go through. And it also because of my belief in the little things. If little things can make a huge difference, I hope all my little efforts are building up like a giant sandcastle. 

Things has been going fairly well, just that I wished this wasn't the way to celebrate our 76th. But if this is the way for it to be better than I just have to make the best out of it. We may be, well, you may be feeling indignant towards me right now but its not going to stop me from doing this. Who knows, this might be one of those things that makes all of it better.

Despite it all, I love you babe. I have been in love with you since day one. And I am truly sorry for what I did.

When something bad happens, it doesn't usually coming knocking on our door with a warning sign and even when we see it coming, we do close to nothing to stop it, yes? After all that is said and done, we had to learn things the hard way, time and time again. Even telling ourselves, countless times, to never repeat it again. Everything has a last straw, afters amounts and amounts of build up someone or something will bound to be the last straw.

I have never felt like this in so long and wishfully I thought it would probably not be coming back anytime soon. And when the last straw broke unexpectedly, I was the one to sponge all the blame. Truth to be told, I don't think I will ever get used to this feeling, this heavy shadow weighing over me, this guilt and the reflex action to be the one to do the chasing.

Though the chasing can be physically and emotionally draining, it never crossed my mind that I am obligated to. I feel like its a part of my role to make things better, that I know this well enough to make it right but why, with every step I take it's seems like I'm heading for the edge. It will come to a point of what does going the distance mean? What do I have to do to go in depth without giving up somewhere along the line?

xoxo ♥

I have not done a pictorial post for some time and this seems to be the perfect time to do so. Bear with me readers and enjoy the rest of it.

So last week, IS0904B and the rest of the April 2009 intake of ITE Bishan officially graduated with their respective certificates. I like the rest of my classmates, graduated with a certificate of Higher Nitec in Business Administration. If you don't already know I have been very excited about this graduation ceremony. It was more than just a commemoration of my time there. It mean a lot to me being in ITE, it has opened so many doors for me and has given me countless opportunities. That night proves to me how my hard work and efforts has paid off, how it was worthwhile. It also gave me something priceless, my kambz. I have never been prouder of myself than I was that night. I would have given myself a pat on the back. I had fun on that night even if time seems to pass by like a train. I had two of the important people in my life there to support me. Everything sufficed.

Beats me since when ITE had a school song. First and the last I shall hear of it.

So prooud of Moxie having their magazine featured at the Graduation and thank you for having is as a part of it.

I have been with H for six years now and just like every other relationship we have our fair share of ups and downs. We bicker and we fight but at the end of it all, no matter how long it takes we will make it all up. Point is, being with someone this long and knowing each other's family and friends, it is kind of expected to get questions or prompt on when are we moving on to the next level. And when that happens, H and I will automatically brush it off and say that we still have a long way to go. And I honestly feel like we do, we still have so much to accomplish. In addition, we both feel like we are still too young, especially me.

Though, H and I has had countless talks about the future, our future. We made endless plans of it and every time we do so, it gets really exciting. We could be doing something or conversing about something and it will lead to us planning for our future. Just the other day, we were singing to Marry You by Bruno Mars in the car and we ended up making a deal about our future, how H will propose to me and make sure it will move me to tears. I enjoy these moments because it made me see how much H loves me. It made me see how far H is willing to go for this relationship and to show me how much he does love me. And most of all, it makes me happy that H plans to have a future with me.

The future is what and how we make of it. H and I will definitely continue to make plans together. And someday I hope that those plans will come true.

xoxo ♥

I have always believed that its the little things the matters the most. Its the little effort a person puts into doing something that makes a difference, just like how one point can define between being first or second. I have always looked forward to the little things that hopefully makes a huge difference in my day. But that slowly became expectations and expectations slowly became disappointment.

I have felt disappointed so many times I felt like I'm asking for too much. It made me felt unworthy of even the slightest effort. So I began to continuously tell myself to expect less, from anyone or anything at all. But that hardly happens, I for some reason have the tendency to hope for the skies.

I grew tired of all the letdowns and I'm scared to hope. So I became someone who is easily contented. I was happy with what I get. I am happy at being this safe. But does that mean I am settling for less? Does it mean that I'm stopping myself short for what could have been greater things out there?